Fitness? No thanks

I got the following message from Fitness Magazine:
*****
Dear MARY,

I just talked our publisher into giving you the MOST AMAZING bargain ever on FITNESSĀ® Magazine …

Get a full year (10 issues) for JUST $5.99
— PLUS a FREE GIFT!

Because I’ve got a hunch you’re the kind of woman who’s ready … to shape up, slim down, get stronger, look better and feel sexier than you ever dreamed possible!

ACT NOW and I’ll include our Six Guides for an Amazing New You — full of ways to jolt your metabolism, eat your way thin, as well as an overall health and wellness plan!

*****
Poor delusional Fitness Magazine people. Now where is my copy of “Atrophy”?